Collection Catastrophe

So you’ve had your credit card stolen, and the company decides to hold you liable. They turn over the debt to a collection agency and wait for you to crumble under the torrent of calls. Sounds like a winning business plan, right?

Wrong.

Me: Hello
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: (singing) He’s, In the jungle
Debitas: Eh…?
Me: The mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight
Debitas: Hello?
Me: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight
Debitas: Is that Mr X?
Me: (silence)
Debitas: (after a couple of mins) Mr X?
Me: (loud as can be) a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
Debitas: (hangs up)

Some more favorites:

Say hello to my little friend
Christmas turkey
Kinda busy
My son
Time warp
Victory!
Time to collect