Spirit Art

Instrumental Transcommunication is the practice of giving spirits a pallet to make pictures for you.

It was pioneered by Klaus Schreiber, a grieving parent who discovered a picture of his deceased daughter after he was “directed” to focus a video camera on a television filled with static.

Modern practitioners use far more sophisticated techniques as illustrated by the video below.

Via this informative post.

Collection Catastrophe

So you’ve had your credit card stolen, and the company decides to hold you liable. They turn over the debt to a collection agency and wait for you to crumble under the torrent of calls. Sounds like a winning business plan, right?

Wrong.

Me: Hello
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: (singing) He’s, In the jungle
Debitas: Eh…?
Me: The mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight
Debitas: Hello?
Me: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight
Debitas: Is that Mr X?
Me: (silence)
Debitas: (after a couple of mins) Mr X?
Me: (loud as can be) a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
Debitas: (hangs up)

Some more favorites:

Say hello to my little friend
Christmas turkey
Kinda busy
My son
Time warp
Victory!
Time to collect